He's back, and this time he's got a portable bulk-eraser!!!


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| .  . | \ V / | | | || | | || | | || .  . |   | | | || |_/ /| |  \/
| |\/| |  \ /  | | | || | | || | | || |\/| |   | | | ||    / | | __ 
| |  | |  | |  | |/ / \ \_/ /\ \_/ /| |  | | _ \ \_/ /| |\ \ | |_\ \
\_|  |_/  \_/  |___/   \___/  \___/ \_|  |_/(_) \___/ \_| \_| \____/


CAUTION:

This machine contains a special circuit called a 'Crisis Detector'. It is specifically designed to detect the user's emotional state in terms of how desperately the user needs to use the machine.

The machine, upon measuring this state, assigns a value, called the 'Crisis Detection Level'. It has been programmed to subsequently create a malfunction in direct proportion to this Crisis Detection Level, thus rendering the machine totally and hopelessly useless to the user for whatever period of usefulness it may have served.

Threatening the machine with violence, curses, obscenities, etc. may soothe the user, but will serve no other useful purpose, as the Crisis Detector is not affected, and the Crisis Detection Level is not, repeat, NOT reset.
Likewise, attempts to use another machine is likely to cause said machine to malfunction, since they both belong to the same union.

Simply give up, and come back later, when you have absolutely NO use for the machine, as by then the Crisis Detector will have noted your absence and will have reset the Crisis Detection Level for the next victim.

NOTE: Attempts to go away and come back a few minutes later are not liable to fool the Crisis Detector, as your level of desperation will only have increased during said period of time. Just give up. It is truly HOPELESS.